Epilogue

Gender is one of the most complex ideas I’ve ever tried to figure out. While I have learned a lot this semester, I feel that it is something I’ll likely never truly understand, as it changes from person to person so drastically. I have taken gender studies classes in the past, but studying the communication side of gender was new to me, and I really enjoyed the opportunity to learn more about it. I had never even considered many of the ideas that we learned about in this class, such as nonverbal gendered communication.

            I think that the most important thing that I’ve learned from this course is to pay more attention to how I approach communication patterns. Nearly every week of the semester, I learned a new form of gendered communication that I had unknowingly taken part in. I have been perpetuating gender inequality without even noticing it, and it’s definitely something that I have been consciously trying to stop doing.  I hope that by applying what I have learned this semester into my every day actions and communications, some change can be made in the lives of those around me.

Gender and Violence

Gendered violence is one of the most horrible problems in the world. My mind reels over how much violence is done to women simply because men feel that they can, or even have a right to commit that violence. One of the most horrible situations that I am involved with is the war in the Dominican Republic of Congo. The war in the DRC is the deadliest conflict since WWII, and rape and sexual violence has been turned into a weapon of terror. It is estimated that 80 women are raped every hour in the DRC, and often times these rapes conclude with a knife or a gun being inserted into the woman.

            I don’t believe that there is anything more horrible than sexual violence happening in the world. It’s a problem that is spread across nearly every culture, and every age group. It is a problem that has been around since the beginning of time, and it seems to have only gotten worse over time rather than better. I don’t know how it can be fixed, but I believe it is of the upmost importance to stop sexual violence. 

Gender and Organizations

Organizational gendered communication is one of my favorite topics so far in the class, and one that I plan on researching more. I particularly enjoyed the section on linear career paths, and how those are ideas that should be challenged. One of my favorite professors that I’ve had used to work for Microsoft, and when his son was born, he took paternal leave from the company instead of his wife taking maternal leave to raise him. I think this is a great and inspiring story, and is something that should be encouraged to happen more often. I feel that if a man wants to take time off work to raise his child, he should be allowed to without receiving some sort of social stigma. At the same time however, I feel it’s important to reevaluate how maternal leave and other absences that women may take are treated. The chapter highlights several times that women often lose their spot on a career track when they take maternal leave.

            The second part of the chapter covers a topic that I cannot decide where I stand. While I feel that affirmative action and equal opportunity programs are important, and they have helped improve the situation of many people, I have a hard time standing behind them 100%. When I think of it from a business perspective, I would want the best employee working for me, regardless of gender, race, or socioeconomic class. In a perfect world, there would be no need for an affirmative action program, and I feel this is what we should strive for. For the time being, however, I hope that there can be some sort of innovation in the field and that changes can be made to make everything more equal for everyone.

Relationships and Gender

Gender roles in relationships are extremely interesting. When I look at it in a wide sense, I see many of the stereotypes being true, even in my own life. I have had many friendships with other men where I’ll never really talk to them, just do things with them, and friendships with women where I talk a lot with them, and don’t do as many activities. However it is something that I feel can also be bent, and the stereotype doesn’t always hold true. I have some male friends where our relationship revolves around talking, or following a stereotypically feminine friendship pattern. I feel that some people are more comfortable with relationships that might be the opposite of their gendered norm.

            Gender roles become more complicated when a romantic relationship comes into play. The chapter talks about how men and women typically express intimacy and affection. Again, while I often see the stereotypical roles being the most played out, I also see many people bending those roles and doing whatever they feel most comfortable and happy doing. In some of my past relationships, I have taken a very feminine approach to communicating affection and intimacy, and I don’t believe there is anything wrong with that. If it’s how a person feels they should act, there shouldn’t be anything wrong with bending gender roles.

Gender in the workplace

When I look at my education, I have never really looked at the gender of my teachers as a deciding factor in the quality of education received. However it is apparent from the latest chapter that many schools do, whether on purpose or not. I’m surprised that the pay gap and number of positions is still such a problem. I found it interesting that the ratio of women to men changed so consistently between the different levels of employment with universities, with men holding more jobs as full professors, and being paid more than women, down to women holding more positions as lecturers than men and still being paid less.

            I think the most shocking part of it all is how it is happening at USU. I had never really considered that there would be a difference, as I believe that I have had more female professors than I have had male professors. However the bookmarks handed out in class showed the opposite, and that USU is actually behind the national average when it comes to equality in staffing. I am glad that the university is making a conscious effort to change that, but I still find it odd that I’ve been here for four years and haven’t noticed there was a difference yet.

Nature vs. Nurture

This chapter again brought into question the nature vs. nurture debate when it comes to developing gender identities. One of my favorite things to read about were children who were raised without the parent they are generally supposed to model. For example, when boys don’t have a masculine figure in their life during the developmental phase, it is common that they use terms to describe masculine behavior in negative terms, because they may not fit into how they see the feminine influence in their life acting.

            All of this brings makes me wonder how I’ll raise my children if I ever have any. On one hand, I feel strongly that gender roles should be neutral, and that I shouldn’t influence my children one way or the other. I feel they should develop how they feel best, and that it isn’t my place to influence them into doing something they may otherwise choose not to do, or vice versa. However this chapter shows that it is okay to celebrate gender identity. I still don’t know how I’ll raise children, especially when it comes to gender identity and gender roles, but I hope that I’m able to raise my children to not see gender as a deciding factor in how they live their life, or how they should expect others to live their lives.